| | Great Jokes | |
| | Author | Message |
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SeanVW Please Read The Rules
Number Of Posts : 6 Age : 26 Club Penguin Username : Potatokid
| Subject: Great Jokes Mon Sep 26, 2011 8:25 am | |
| Why does irish dogs have flat faces ? Because of her chasing parked cars! A man asked for a meal in a restaurant. The waiter brought the food and put it on the table. After a moment, the man called the waiter and said: "Waiter! Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" "Please don't speak so loudly, sir," said the waiter, "or everyone will want one." What is the longest word in the English language? "Smiles". Because there is a mile between its first and last letters! There are 5 birds in a tree. A hunter shoots 2 of them dead. How many birds are left? 2 birds. The other 3 fly away! An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "woman without her man is nothing". The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing." The woman was in bed with her lover and had just told him how stupid her Irish husband was when the door was thrown open and there stood her husband. He glared at her lover and bellowed, "What are you doing?" "There," said the wife, "didn't I tell you he was stupid?" What's the definition of a pessimist? A pessimist is a well-informed optimist. One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head. The Englishman pushed his beer away in disgust. The Scotsman fished the fly out of his beer, and continued drinking it, as if nothing had happened. The Irishman, too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer, and started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BAS**RD!!!!" A man was injected with a deadly poison, but, it did not kill him. Why? He was already dead! | |
| | | Donut Dude Snowball Warrior
Number Of Posts : 3234
| Subject: Re: Great Jokes Wed Sep 28, 2011 6:07 am | |
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| | | N00B007 Ice Thinner
Number Of Posts : 603 Age : 23 Club Penguin Username : CP Sucks
| Subject: Re: Great Jokes Mon Oct 31, 2011 3:55 pm | |
| - SeanVW wrote:
- Why does irish dogs have flat faces ? Because of her chasing parked cars!
A man asked for a meal in a restaurant. The waiter brought the food and put it on the table. After a moment, the man called the waiter and said:
"Waiter! Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!"
"Please don't speak so loudly, sir," said the waiter, "or everyone will want one." What is the longest word in the English language?
"Smiles". Because there is a mile between its first and last letters! There are 5 birds in a tree. A hunter shoots 2 of them dead. How many birds are left?
2 birds. The other 3 fly away! An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "woman without her man is nothing". The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly.
The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing." The woman was in bed with her lover and had just told him how stupid her Irish husband was when the door was thrown open and there stood her husband. He glared at her lover and bellowed, "What are you doing?" "There," said the wife, "didn't I tell you he was stupid?" What's the definition of a pessimist? A pessimist is a well-informed optimist. One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head. The Englishman pushed his beer away in disgust. The Scotsman fished the fly out of his beer, and continued drinking it, as if nothing had happened. The Irishman, too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer, and started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BAS**RD!!!!" A man was injected with a deadly poison, but, it did not kill him. Why?
He was already dead!
Completely rubbish | |
| | | Toucan Newspaper Reader
Number Of Posts : 308
| Subject: Re: Great Jokes Thu Nov 03, 2011 6:28 pm | |
| Why Can't Animals Take Quiz's?
Too Many Cheetahs Lol
~Toucan~ | |
| | | Resfez New Penguin
Number Of Posts : 19
| Subject: Re: Great Jokes Sun Oct 07, 2012 11:56 pm | |
| My father died in the holocaust
he fell off a watchtower | |
| | | nyroc Tour Taker
Number Of Posts : 65
| Subject: Re: Great Jokes Mon Oct 08, 2012 10:20 pm | |
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| | | N00B007 Ice Thinner
Number Of Posts : 603 Age : 23 Club Penguin Username : CP Sucks
| Subject: Re: Great Jokes Wed Oct 10, 2012 12:31 pm | |
| LOLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL | |
| | | nyroc Tour Taker
Number Of Posts : 65
| Subject: Re: Great Jokes Wed Oct 10, 2012 7:26 pm | |
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| | | Toucan Newspaper Reader
Number Of Posts : 308
| Subject: Re: Great Jokes Sat Nov 03, 2012 11:07 am | |
| Indeed -removed- -removed- -removed- -removed- -removed- -removed- -removed- -removed- | |
| | | Toucan Newspaper Reader
Number Of Posts : 308
| Subject: Re: Great Jokes Sat Nov 03, 2012 11:08 am | |
| Indeed -removed- -removed- -removed- -removed- | |
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| Subject: Re: Great Jokes | |
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